


In which the main protagonist sits idly till one day he finds himself head over heels for redrom interest A

by chiriil



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, GT, M/M, Macro / micro
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-03-04 01:37:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13353774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chiriil/pseuds/chiriil
Summary: A petstuck au, but something more resembling the unexpected au rather than the cute fluffy anthropomorphic creatures most people draw- they’re still the same people, the same species with little alterations. Other than, of course, the subtle fact that Alternia and Earth exist on vastly different scales.(If anyone has a better title i am all ears lmao)





	1. Prelude

**Author's Note:**

> I took all the chapter names from songs bc I’m unoriginal  
> Enjoy a shitty au fic im writing for myself (but if you have suggestions / somethin u wanna see comment my dude I shall provide)  
> Basically smol humans and tol trolls, shenanigans ensue

Instead of a full-scale invasion, all that was needed was a few scout ships at a time to round up earth's remaining humans. The smart ones yielded and went willingly, the others were subdued in less pleasant methods. They were seen as little more than a short-lived fascination or curiosity, and created quite the trend on alternia once news spread. Some live in captivity and some have escaped or been abandoned, living on the streets or in someone else’s house.  
There were no laws in place to keep them from being caught and simply killed, so such actions were common. 

Fast forward a few years and the trend has, for the most part, worn off. Some have remained faithful (whatever that constitutes in this sense) to their humans, and continued to care for them. The rest were abandoned or returned. There were enough at first, but after the first round ran out (and with some’s tendency to buy them only to kill them in amusing fashions), more scout ships were sent back to restock. 

You’ll never guess who was unlucky enough to live in an apartment building, a tower of concrete and steel that was one of the easiest structures to remove from its foundation and pack away on the scouting ships. 

 

Your name is Dave Strider, and you are utterly fucked.


	2. Be mine, be fucking mine

Sitting alone in a glass cage doesn’t get any less boring after the first few days. It wasn’t terrible, but you would sure as hell rather be anywhere else at the moment. Most, if not all, of the few trolls that actually bothered to stop and look in at you for more than five seconds never did anything after that. They probably assumed you were blind or something else was wrong with you from the shades.

You don’t even look up at the sound of the front door opening. Only 4 days in, and you’d already started to ignore it. The only sounds you had to pay attention to were the ones that meant you’d be getting food soon. The door closes, and you remain motionless in the corner, sitting up against the wall.

The tall shelves lined up in neat rows block your view of the rest of the store. Being on the back wall has its drawbacks. The only indication you have of anyone actually entering the store were the voices, one with a lisp and the other far too loud, both equally annoying. You listen to them bicker about something you still can’t see, deciding from their tones that you didn’t like either of them. An unsurprising observation given that it’s identical to every other troll that’s ever walked through that door. Unfortunately for you, and every other human you suppose, Alternian language was in no way similar to any earth language. As it was the only thing to provide any information about them were their voices and how they looked- one of the two variables still unknown.

You’re nearly falling asleep by the time they round the corner that brings them in your aisle. The increase in volume draws you back into consciousness, and you glance up to see them both meandering down your way. You knew a residual argument when you saw one. The one walking in front, all double horned 3D glasses, was looking smug as can be as he looked around. The one behind him, short and even shorter horns with an oversized sweater, was not so smug. Scowling, maybe. Definitely.

With an unnecessarily dramatic sigh you adjust your position slightly and lean your head against the wall. According to your completely legitimate calculations, they’d be out within 10 minutes without buying anything. They’d already made it to the back of the store empty handed. You watch idly as they pass, looking between the two sides of the isle pretending to be interested.

Something, evidently, catches his eye as he glances over to your side of things. His eyes- matching the color of his glasses, you note- scan over the rows of glass boxes mounted on the wall. His smug smile fades a bit as he focuses on reading the short description provided beside each section. You stare unmoving at the yellow symbol on his worn shirt as he reads.

He spends a moment scanning over each individual case, sometimes lingering for a second longer before shifting his gaze to the next one in the row. This leads him to your row. You still sit unmoving as he looks you over, eyes flicking past you before coming back to look at you longer. After staring at you for a few seconds longer than you’d like, he turns to his friend, asking him something and pointing back to you.

_“Hey, what about this one?”_

_“What?”_

_“It looks blind, then you could spare it the pain of ever looking you in the eyes.”_

His friend hits him on the arm, only making him chuckle. Your eyes follow his yellow and grey ones as he looks you over. You notice him stalling on the small card tucked in the edge of the tank, the alien numbers just barely visible from the wrong side of the paper. His eyes stay locked on it for longer than you’d prefer.

_“Wait, are you actually-?”_

_“Yeah, why not? It’s not like I have anything better to spend my money on.”_

_“Well shit, dude. Does that mean I have to get one too?”_

_“Fuck if I care. Go ahead- they can be friends or some shit.”_

The taller yellowblood follows his friend back to the front counter, their voices getting quieter as they walk away. It feels different than every other time someone’d walked away from you. You get the feeling you won’t be staying here for much longer.

They come back with a store assistant trailing behind them, standing out of the way so they would open the front panel of the case, unlocking it with a key ring they slip out of their pocket. You remain stock-still as they reach in for you. You’d seen what happened to people who struggled, and you weren’t in the mood for a broken rib today. 

Their grip is gentler than you expected, though you can’t help kicking your legs until you’re passed over to the other troll. His hands are warm as they wrap around you, one loosely around your waist and the other below you to let you kneel down. Your pale skin is a sharp contrast to his dark grey. His warm-colored nails- looking more like claws to you- run over your back and mess up your hair idly as he waits for his friend. 

The store clerk opens another case, as picked out by the yellowblood, and pulls out a girl with short blonde hair that flipped up at the ends. She’s not wearing any shoes- she must not have had any on when the ships came. You wonder if she lived in your building. 

She’s handed to the other troll, and the two of them walk with the clerk back to the front of the store. The transaction is quick, especially given that you can’t understand what they’re saying. You’re transferred to one hand so he can get his wallet, handing over however much money they’d decided you were worth. He steps aside to wait for the other to finish doing the same. 

A bit disappointed that he seemed to have no other materials for you like food or clothes, you settle yourself back down in his palm as they walk out of the store.


	3. I don’t speak coolkid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to zeph for being my first comment ever!!! ask and ye shall receive my dude  
> this one's short but i've got chapter 4 in the works and it'll be longer

After a relatively short walk, the yellowblooded troll splits off and walks towards what you guess is an alien apartment building, or whatever their equivalent was. The one of undetermined caste that you’d unabashedly dubbed ‘your’ troll continues on to his hive. It looked a tad smaller than the others you’d passed, not that it made any difference for you. Upon walking through the front door he’s greeted by his lusus, but he tucks his arms in and shoulders past it, running upstairs to his respiteblock. After closing the door he sits down at his desk and sets you next to his husktop. Every wall of his room is plastered with movie and book posters (you didn’t think those existed), some of them seeming to be edited versions of the earth originals.

 _“I’m grabbing some food, don’t move.”_ he says something to you, either ignoring or oblivious to the fact that you can’t understand him as he leaves, shutting the door behind him. He returns a few (long) moments later with a plate of pizza in hand and sets it down on the desk before shutting the door. _“I don’t know if you’ve had pizza before but I sure fucking hope so.”_

You sit yourself down next to it with no verbal qualms from the troll. Without asking if you wanted any he tears off a piece with his claws and leaves it on the edge of the plate near you. You, like any normal person, do not have to be told what to do with pizza when it’s presented to you. After scooting a bit closer so you wouldn’t have to lean forward quite as much you join him in eating the alien pizza. It seems identical to earth pizza.

When he sets his down to type something on his husktop- a chat client you assume- you notice a key difference from every other pizza you’d had, other than it being a lot smaller. Earth pizza generally didn’t come topped with bugs. He doesn’t seem to notice the crinkling crunch of dry chitin as he takes another bite. Slightly more disgusted than you were before, and disheartened at missing out on free pizza, you set your bit of pizza back on the plate. He pulls up some sort of video player completely unfamiliar to you, and clicks on one it looks like he’s in the middle of, which prompts you to turn around to face the screen better. There are subtitles but they don’t help you in the slightest since they’re in alternian. It looks like a sitcom from the 90’s, which doesn’t interest you nearly as much as it should.

A notification pings and a small box of text pops up in the corner of the screen. He groans through his mouthful of pizza and clicks on it, leaving the show playing in the background. It pulls up the same chat client as earlier, displaying a conversation with alternating text in grey and yellow.


	4. But I can if you like

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slightly longer chapter, this time from a different pov

_“How’s it going so far?”_

“Nothings fucking happened, I just got back.”

 _“Well, let me know I guess.”_  
_“We’re getting along fine in case you were wondering.”_

“Of course you are, you get along well with everybody.”

_“That’s a lie and you know it.”_

“Fair enough.”  
“How are you ‘getting along fine’? It’s been like 20 minutes since you got home.”

 _“We have some common interests I guess.”_  
_“She flipped when she saw my setup- she likes programming and computer shit, apparently.”_

“Fantastic. You have someone to be smart with.”

 _“I do and it is fantastic, thank you very much.”_  
_“What have you two been doing?”_

“Like I said, I just got home. Microwaved some pizza and was about to watch something when you interrupted me.”

_“You should try talking to him at least, they’re not that bad.”_

“You’re basing that assumption off of one individual, by the way.”  
“So I doubt it.”

_“Well it was your choice to get him.”_

“It’s either this or some other useless shit I won’t want in half a sweep.”

 _“Yeah I guess.”_  
_“Still, do something at least. It won’t kill you.”_

“It might.”

_“Shut up and do something idiot.”_

You watch him go offline, and close the trollian window, and pause the show you forgot you were trying to watch. ‘Talk to him’. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? It’s not like you have anything to talk about anyway. Now that you’ve closed the chat and paused the video he’s looking back at you expectantly.

“I don’t know what the fuck you want me to do. You want more pizza?” You ask even though you can see the piece you gave him had been abandoned. In response he stares at you blankly. “It’s a yes or no question, dumbass.” Your helpful clarification doesn’t do much.

“I don’t know what else to do so I guess we’re going back downstairs.” It was too early to consider going to sleep, and you aren’t in the mood to go back outside.

You go to pick him up, stopping for a second when he flinches but following through with the motion anyway. He’s thinner than you expected- his loose shirt lead you to believe there was more to him. His body feels hollow. Had they even given him anything to eat there? It was unlikely he’d been there less than a day. Shaking yourself out of your thoughts you reach for the door handle when another thought strikes you- if he didn’t have any food there chances were he didn’t have a shower or clean clothes either. Something in your bloodpusher makes you pity him.

You pull the door open still lost in thought. Instead of heading downstairs like you’d said, you turn down the hall and walk into the bathroom. Setting him down on the counter next to the sink you turn the water on hot, waiting for it to start steaming before turning it towards ‘cold’, waiting until it was a reasonable temperature before plugging the drain. He connects the dots soon enough, standing up from where you’d set him down, backing up with his hands up before you can reach for him again.

 _“Woah man, I can handle that part, hands off.”_ Without your prompting he pulls his shirt off by the back of its collar, letting it drop to the counter beside him.

You decide to give him a moment to himself while you grabbed the bottle of shampoo from the shower. When you turn back to him he hasn’t gotten much further, just crossed his arms over his chest. You turn the faucet off. He’s still wearing everything else, and you realize it’s a little awkward to stand here staring at him. 

“I’ll… leave you alone, I guess. Scream if you need help.” With that you leave, not bothering to close the door all the way. 

After leaving him to clean himself up, and giving him some shampoo a few minutes later after forgetting to do so the first time, you come back in. You’re thankful you hadn’t come back a few minutes earlier, when he was still getting dressed. 

“Hope you didn’t have plans for today because someone made them for me.”


	5. This shit is ironic

An hour later you’re standing in front of someone’s apartment door, waiting for them to open it. The building looked the same as the one you’d seen his friend walking towards, so you had a feeling you were meeting up with him. You weren’t entirely opposed to it since it’d give you a chance to talk to another human being for once. The door pulls open, and you’re greeted with the face (becoming a familiar one) of his double-horned friend.

He steps inside and from your vantage point in his cupped hands you can see the girl from earlier, perched on his friends shoulder. Neither of them seem to mind the situation. She waves at you enthusiastically.

“Hey! What’s up!” She greets you with an equally enthusiastic grin. You wave back, before the motion is interrupted. His friend reaches a hand up to get her down, and the four of you walk back into what you take to be his respiteblock. It’s a little more cluttered than your trolls’. On his desk (and surrounding it, mounted on the walls) are multiple computer monitors. He sits down at his desk, setting her down and waiting for yours to do the same.

As soon as your feet touch the desk you’re embraced in a tight hug.

“Oh my god it’s been so long since I’ve seen humans hi!” she manages to rush out before releasing you. “What’s your name?”

“Dave, you?”

“Roxy! Hey sol!” she turns away from you for a second to interrupt the trolls’ conversation. “His name’s Dave, why didn’t you give them the translator thingys?” _Translators?_ Again he responds, this time giving a familiar smug smile and leaning back in his chair when he replies.

“How the hell are you two talking?” you ask her. She pulls an earpiece out of her ear, where it had been hidden by her hair. It’s connected by a thin wire to something clipped to the waistband of her pink skirt.

“Translator! Sol and I made it, it’s got a microphone so when he talks I hear it in english and vice versa.”

“You’re shitting me.”

“Nope!” she slips the earpiece back in. “We could make one for you if you want.”

“Yes. Please.” it’d been less than a day and you were already frustrated by the language barrier.

“Oh! He might have the parts around here, gimme a sec.” she says from behind a computer monitor, having slipped out of your sight before you had time to notice. A few seconds later she walks back over to you with an small armful of miscellaneous pieces and sits down to work on it.

_“You still need the troll half.”_

“Yep.” she unscrews a panel on the side of a small plastic box, presumably the casing.

“ _I have to make that.”_

“Yep.” she sets the panel beside her and starts assembling everything inside the casing. He sighs but spins around in his chair and pulls open his desk drawer, pulling out materials for the other half of the translator. “You got any more of those ‘lil batteries?” she asks, soldering the wires together with a lighter she must have had on her.

_“Yeah, here.”_ he hands her two cell batteries, still bigger than the human equivalent but small enough to work. She slips them in and screws the panel back in place, and hand you your half.

“They’ll still have to be linked so you can talk from farther away, but for now you can talk to sol. You’re lucky we made backups of the coding.” you slip the earpiece in, still holding the unit in your hand.

“ _Fantastic.”_ you jump at the volume, fiddling with the dials until it got quieter.

“Woah. Shit dude, you made this?” you ask, deciding to slip the unit in your pocket instead of clipping it somewhere.

“Yep. I needed help with the troll half though. That’s Sollux, by the way.”

_“You’re welcome.”_ He rummages around until he finds a small screwdriver, and installs the last panel. It looks very similar to yours, but more suited for a troll. He hands it over, and you’d hate to admit (especially to him) that you were looking forward to being able to communicate.

_“Is it working?”_ He asks, fiddling with the volume before looking back to you.

“Uh, yeah, I think so.” It’s weird knowing what he’s saying but you’re relieved regardless. Proper introductions are in order. “I’m Dave.”

With your mind running on autopilot after you saying your name, you stick out your hand for a handshake before realizing your mistake. He doesn’t hesitate in responding, humoring you by returning your handshake with his first finger and thumb. One corner of his mouth turns upwards the slightest bit.

_“I’m karkat.”_


	6. I’ll take you out tonight, do whatever you like

“Well.” you were never good at small talk (pun unintended). “That happened.”

_ “Yeah, no shit.” _  his use of the word made you wonder if all curse words are translatable.  _ “Oh fuck, did you want some food?” _

“Oh, I- yeah, sure.” the pizza earlier had helped, but being underfed for far too long made the offer too good to pass up. “What’d you got?” 

_ “The usual, I guess- grubloaf, leftover pizza and takeout, chips n shit.” _ Sollux answers, even though the question had been directed at Karkat, you  _ are _ in his house. At the prompting Sollux stands up to go to the kitchen, and a moment later Karkat follows.

“Alright, just leave me here, I guess. That’s fine.” you aren’t sure how far away the you could be before the translators stopped working, but you’d talk to yourself anyway.

“Dave, c’mere.” Roxy calls you, and you turn to see her standing on the back of the desk near the wall. “You can get down here, if you want.”

Walking over to her, you find that amidst the clutter on his desk, she’d tied two of the cords running down the back of the desk together, making a sort of ladder. She takes your approach as a ‘yes’ to her unspoken question and starts climbing down. Being a person who doesn’t really do heights, you don’t want to follow her until you realize how high up you are currently, which makes it a little more appealing. She’s almost halfway down by the time you make up your mind. Thankfully there’s enough space between the desk and the wall for you to slip through.

The space underneath his desk is just as messy as the desktop, with wires and extension cords while the desk is covered with miscellaneous electronic parts. You follow her lead, stepping over, around, and under the wires strewn about. The floor is also smooth as opposed to carpet, which made walking easier too. She walks in the direction the two trolls had walked off in, presumably to the kitchen, but you weren’t familiar with his apartment yet. She leads you along one of the walls, and soon enough you turn into the apartments small kitchen.

Getting cold feet is something you’re overly familiar with and now is no exception- turning the corner to see the two of them standing casually over you like monoliths. It had been different before, where you’d always been around chest level or higher, instead of standing on the ground. You’re starting to think your fear of heights isn’t quite so justified in this case. Roxy notices you hanging back. 

“You alright?” She asks, walking the short distance to where you still stood, frozen.

“Yeah.” Your voice cracks, and you flinch. She laughs but gives you a knowing look and takes your hand to lead you into the kitchen. The physical contact keeps you from freaking out more than you already are, though your heart is still pounding as the full implications of your situation hit you a week too late. You’d never see your family again. But, given your remaining relatives, you’re not sad about that aspect. You’d also never be able to talk to your friends again. 

“Come on.” She tugs you around the corner, and Sollux glances down as the two of you walk in. “What’s taking you guys so long?”

_ “Karkat doesn’t think humans can eat grubloaf.”  _ He answers, stooping down to pick her up. His fingers wrap gently around her waist, and as she’s raised up you’re left alone on the floor. You can barely hear her reply of “That’s stupid.” before you’re out of earshot. 

After waiting a moment he sets Roxy down on the counter and picks you up, since karkat seemed too preoccupied in getting his point across to do so. You’re set on the counter next to her, and you sit down a few feet away from where she sits. You can almost forget your fears from a few minutes ago now that you’re back up to a more manageable height. 

“Humans are totally fine with like, 90% of troll food, including grubloaf.” Roxy mentions to you. 

“The only thing I’ve had so far is pizza, and even that was… weird.” You reply. 

“Bugs?” She asks, giving you a sympathetic look. 

“Bugs.” You reply solemnly, not particularly wanting to think about eating bugs, much less ones that were as big as you. 

_ “Here, since you’re being difficult-“ _ Sollux pulls open the fridge, grabbing one very brightly blue half of what you assume to be a fruit and setting it on the counter, before grabbing a knife to cut it with. He tears off a small piece of a paper towel, slicing off thin pieces and placing them on it. The paper towel is placed in front of you and roxy on the counter.  _ “Fucking fruit, I guess.” _

Ignoring the continuing conversation about human nutrition still happening above you, you tentatively reach out and pick up a piece. The inside isn’t quite as vibrant as the outside was, but still much bluer than you’d like a fruit to be. Roxy doesn’t seem to be familiar with it either, which seems about right given that she’s been here as long as you have, which is a day. 

You look down at your blue tinted fingers, and hesitantly take a small bite out of it. You can’t help but make a face at the unfamiliarity of it- it had the consistency of a hard melon or maybe an apple, but tastes more bitter than you were expecting, like an unripe strawberry. You glance up to see roxy with matching blue-stained hands, and the same color around her mouth and on her chin. 

“You like this stuff?” You ask, looking at her quizzically. She nods, finishing her last bite before responding. 

“Yeah, it’s weird, but in a good way. It would be great in a smoothie- do you think they have those here?”

“What kind of alien planet doesn’t have smoothies, are you kidding? If there’s no smoothies here I’m leaving.” She snorts, getting blue alien fruit juice on her nose as she tries to cover her laugh.


End file.
